I previously talked about Sunsets & Sunrises in a previous article but hey the more the merrier, right? Since ’tis the season to be jolly I did enjoy this story by the Zimbabwean writer Vimbai Lole, whom I happen to know. Okay enough bragging, let’s get down into it.
Sunrises & Sunsets follows the main character Tanyaradzwa and the life with her husband (who I can only remember as D, for some unknown reason). It got me thinking about a lot of things, some which I will share here.
1. The past will refuse to stay hidden
The past will always expose itself like that friend of yours after one too many drinks. Secrets are toxic in long-term relationships. Half-truths will always come back to haunt you. I think if you are getting into a long-term relationship bare yourself to the other person and let them decide if they can handle you and your scars. We make a lot of bad decisions as we grow up trying to find ourselves but we tend to hide these bad decisions and hope they stay hidden. Recipe for disaster.
2. It’s okay to not be okay
I’m a big advocate for mental health and always say that the reason men have a shorter life span than women is because we keep so much stuff inside, fearing that exposing it will make us be viewed as weak (which is deemed an unmanly trait). Society has you fooled, men are actually more emotional than women. It’s no secret that men have a higher suicide rate than women. Trying to hold yourself together when you’re falling apart only makes things worse. One day you will implode.
3. Relationships are between 2 people
More often than not when we have a disagreement with other significant others we rush to spill the beans to an external party but that only serves to weaken a relationship. The third party (unless you’re threesome type) will loathe your partner, even when the two of you have patched things up and moved past your disagreement. In their eyes you will never be the same. Best keep people out of your business at all costs (social media posts included).
4. If you love something let it go…
Let’s not jump into conclusions, stay with me here. By letting go I mean give the person you love room to make decisions for themselves, don’t smother them as that only repels them further…
My vagueness is on purpose. Read the book, can’t be dropping spoilers and writing thesis-worthy material that will have my article getting more actual views than the book.
Did I mention that the book is Part 1 and Part 2 has already started?